In our last post we talked about female sex drive and how a godly woman with a high sex drive can benefit from using masturbation to fill in the gaps in marital relations and actually enhance these sexual relations with her husband in so doing. One of the important points is that a woman’s sense of sexual fulfillment may not be fully met by her husband because of the male-female differences in approach to sexual relations, but she can have those needs met directly in sexual devotion with God. It directly raises a question of exactly how a woman is spiritually connected through orgasm and the purpose of orgasm, especially for a woman for whom the orgasm doesn’t fulfill a biological purpose.
Today we’re going to dig deeper into this business of strong sexual passion, or “high sex drive” as some would call it. We’re coming to an understanding that a woman with strong sexual passion is a woman who also has strong passion in other areas of her life. The suggestion is sexual fulfillment for a woman makes such a major contribution to her overall emotional wellbeing, that becoming fully sexually fulfilled through sexual devotion with God sets a Christian woman “on fire” and this fire flows out into the rest of her life. This applies whether she is single or married, but a godly woman who is married can use those times of sexual devotion to fire up marital relations with her husband. Typically, the way that a husband and wife prepare for sexual intercourse is through the husband engaging with the wife in her “love language”, if this doesn’t happen the wife feels “used” in sexual relations and can have a lot of struggle in relating sexually to her husband. We believe that a wife can use sexual devotion to make the preparations for sexual relations herself, and therefore inject an extra level of sexual passion and spontaneity into her marriage that works out well in the bedroom.
The challenge for godly gals who are sexually passionate historically has been reconciling their own innate knowledge of their sexual desires with conservative Christian teachings and views of feminine sexuality in the Church as a whole, as well as in patriarchal societies. Women with a high sex drive have often been made to feel that there must be something wrong with them for being so horny all the time because of the double standards in the views in society of male and female sexuality that still persist today. However, if a Christian woman maintains a high standard of sexual discipline and purity in her life whether single or married, the issue of having a high sex drive shouldn’t be especially significant, and a woman should not allow herself to be shamed by having one. The double standards have carried across into views on masturbation, but a lot of that has been rooted in patriarchy and does not carry any weight in an equal society and in branches of the Church that proclaim egalitarian theology. Mainly the important points about masturbation, as we have outlined elsewhere in this blog, are the most significant considerations for any godly woman, and none should get themselves into a struggle over things that aren’t really an issue.
We counsel all godly women who have any kind of struggle with masturbation to give themselves permission to be really passionate about their bodies, because that also includes sexual passion. Oftentimes we feel that women have difficulty with the concept that they desire this pleasure in their body, without an apparent reason for it. We believe there are a few reasons for a woman to masturbate, and they are fundamentally the 3-Ds, but there is also something to be said for a woman putting aside an hour or so to just gently touch and stroke her body all over and gradually build up to an orgasm. That type of experience is something we do recommend a woman to do as a sexual devotion and just take the time to be that passionate about herself every once in a while, not just in the physical or sexual sense but also the spiritual sense.