So we are back writing another post about the purposes of masturbation. Masturbation is particularly prevalent in Western societies; we can recall reading that it is relatively uncommon outside such societies. This is most likely connected with the position that women hold in Western societies compared with the others. Western societies are where respect for women as people rather than sex toys is most entrenched. This of course has not always been the case in Western countries however; feminism, respect for women and encouraging them to take a place as equals with men has accelerated in the last century or so, as attitudes have also changed in the Church, despite the respect with which women were treated in Jesus’ life and ministry. Well of course, the Church has been split for centuries over the interpretation of certain passages of scripture in regards to ministry leadership by women and this remains today.
What we can agree on is that churches which have a negative view of female leadership also tend to have a negative view of female sexuality in general. The complementarian school of theology in particular not only denies women their rightful place and calling in ministry, it also reduces them to mere sex toys of their husbands on the assumption that men are unable to control their sex drive and their wives must be on call for sex at a moment’s notice. In fact, it is possible for any man to control and discipline his sex drive and this is a key premise that is necessary to understand as an extension of Christian egalitarianism. We have previously spoken of our concern that teaching on sexuality isn’t addressed in the CE movement to the same extent as it is with complementarianism, which in actuality is probably just one aspect of a whole lot of CE theology that isn’t quite as well established and propounded as complementarianism is.
Masturbation comes into its own in a Christian context when we apply the key assumptions of the place of women in Western societies and with particular relevance to Christian Egalitarian theological beliefs. In less sophisticated societies there is no separate period of adolescence for men and women because marriage takes place at a very young age by our standards, and in fact in Western culture the trend these days is for women to delay marriage until they have completed a university education and established their own career. Even in church circles, it is much more common for women to be at least in their mid-20s before marrying, and men to be older still. This means for both genders, inevitably a long period elapses between the time they enter puberty and the point when a godly man or woman can finally achieve sexual fulfillment in a marital context. This could easily be ten years, or even longer. There are also important issues to be addressed when either a man or a woman in the Church remains single for longer than this. We have to address the assumption that all Christian men and women should expect to marry and at a young age, because this is not always the case, and it is more of an issue in the Church than in society as a whole because there is a gender imbalance in favour of women, meaning that at least some of them could expect to remain single for a much longer period, or perhaps for life.
Masturbation purely for the 3-D purposes, or for addressing physical pressures in the body which affect both males and females for different reasons, or simply for dealing with sexual arousal in general, where a person remains single for a period, as we in the Church expect them to do so throughout adolescence, is what we have to promote as a physically and spiritually healthy option for Christian teens and young adults on the basis that they are being expected to maintain sexual purity throughout a much longer period of singleness than would have been expected to occur in society in past eras. Whilst it is possible for some strong-willed and highly focused believers to abstain completely from masturbation, it is far from easy to achieve this and has the challenge that it is, in effect, closing off a key function of a person’s body that is innate to them. However, understandably, in theological circles a key aspect of the debate is whether sex organs and sexual pleasure were created solely to be shared between a husband and wife in marriage, or whether these can also be used by the individual who owns the particular body parts in question for their own fulfillment. Readers of this blog will already be aware that we advocate the latter viewpoint. We also advocate that masturbation can be used within marriage although it must have a more restricted scope therein than for single people, simply because solo sexual intimacy can work against mutual intimacy and therefore create undesirable tensions.
So we are advocating that masturbation does serve a useful and blessed purpose for Christians in the kinds of society we live in in Western countries today, where extended singleness is becoming the norm, simply because we hold women in much higher regard in society as a whole, which is the key basis behind the principles of Christian egalitarianism. It then follows that it is desirable that we encourage adolescent Christian men and women to commence masturbation at the onset of puberty, provided that they are able to uphold key principles of sexual purity, because the 3-D principles are those which are able to be utilised during the singleness of adolescence and young adulthood for the majority of believers, by which masturbation is an important contributor to their personal development of sexual maturity. The reason we believe masturbation is an important and useful tool for adolescents and singles to make use of is that it gives them a means to achieve sexual release that enhance and upholds sexual purity. Our bodies are innately wired to response to physical stimuli and the increasing levels of pressure brought to bear upon our adolescents from outside influences makes it a great deal more difficult for them to continue to uphold sexual purity in their lives whilst remaining single. As we have noted with the 3-D principles, we believe masturbation is important for developing a sexually disciplined lifestyle as a single person, particularly for males. We also believe that increasing numbers of Christian adolescents, especially males, are sidestepping the debate on the rights and wrongs of masturbation and quietly practicing it, but not necessarily in a spiritually healthy way as they are likely to be focused on the condemnation that is prevalent in some parts of the Church. Being able to receive masturbation as a physical and spiritual blessing to one’s body as a Christian is very important to be able to address sexually addictive pressures such as from pornography, and the challenges involved when young believers face the tremendous guilt and shame that results from sexual addiction that tends to drive them away from a personal faith.
In our interest in ministry, we now assume that all Christian adolescents are probably going to welcome support and encouragement for this area. Masturbation has to be necessarily limited in its scope for Christians to a level which does not compromise overall expectations of sexual purity, so lust, pornography and adultery have to be taken completely out of the picture. In essence the key achievement of masturbation for adolescent Christians is to relieve physical pressures in their bodies and allow them to enjoy the pleasure of sexual stimulation and orgasm at a reasonable level within their daily lives, but not as an addiction. We believe individuals who are physically and spiritually healthy can achieve an appropriate balance as to the amount of time they spend each day masturbating and ensure it is not dominating or controlling their lives. We remain highly convinced, in summary, that masturbation is important for singles, especially adolescents, to be able to practice on a regular basis for 3-D purposes such as developing and disciplining their sexuality and is therefore highly relevant in an egalitarian theological context. We are hopeful that some day in the future, masturbation will able to be discussed openly and without shame in the Church as its benefits and blessings become more readily recognised for committed evangelical believers.