There are some key differences between male and female sexuality that are in some cases obvious as the physical differences between bodies, and in other cases not so obvious at all as they are spiritual in nature, or perhaps emotional. This post is going to dig into the very key aspect of spiritual intimacy for Christian women and how it impacts onto their sexuality. It is also going to look at how this is relevant to sexual intimacy in marriage and how godly gals can prepare themselves well for this transition into physical sexual intimacy with their husband.
Men and women, it is well known, have quite difference experiences with spiritual intimacy. Women are generally much more sensitive to the Holy Spirit and can often have a much greater sense of his physical presence within a space. Because of this, a women will generally value spiritual intimacy much more highly than physical sexual intimacy, and this is a part of the reason why women generally are able to cope better than men with singleness. On the other hand, men being unable to have such a degree of spiritual intimacy in terms of a physical presence, tend to seek after the physical presence of sexual intimacy in a relationship and this is a part of the reason why men are generally able to cope less well than women with singleness. It is certainly well known that sexual intercourse for men is very much about the physical intimacy aspect whilst for women it is more about the emotional intimacy aspect. We believe this paragraph explains a part of why that is.
This also is one of many factors impacting on a woman’s generally lower sex drive but by no means can be taken as being predominant as there are many issues affecting that. The important issue, however, is that a woman who masturbates is probably more capable of receiving everything she needs from sex on her own, and therefore may be less inclined to desire a husband at times in her life when having children is not important. Adolescence is one such time and this is advantageous in promoting celibacy and sexual purity, and the same applies for a post-menopausal single woman. But for a man, the sexual intimacy is very much more important as he is less capable of being as close to God as a woman is, and therefore sexual intercourse provides him with something he can’t get by masturbating on his own.
The challenge that is there especially for a woman who has a high sex drive and has learned to meet that through adolescence or any other prolonged period of singleness by masturbating, is being able to learn to share her body with her husband and let him take over as much as possible the work of physically stimulating her, and being able to become emotionally intimate with him – as much as that can ever be possible with a man. We believe there is certainly scope for that to become somewhat challenging at the beginning of a marriage and if the wife finds herself unable to make that transition for any particular reason, it can create a lack of intimacy in the marriage and result in relationship challenges with her husband.
For any Christian woman who is preparing herself for marriage, regardless of how much or how little of the above is applicable to her situation, one of the key challenges is getting used to sharing her body with her husband. This is one of several reasons why we encourage adolescent Christian guys and gals to sleep nude when they begin to develop sexually and masturbate. In other words, only children should wear pajamas in bed, except when anyone is sharing a room with others. An adolescent gal who gets used to being nude in bed will find it that much easier when she gets married to be naked in bed with her husband when she has established this norm during her teenage years. This phase of her life is also a great time to further exploit bedtime nudity to have masturbation sessions that help her get to know what is happening in her body really well, by observing the physical changes in her breasts and genitals as a result of sexual arousal and stimulation.