Following on from our last couple of posts about masturbation for Christian guys, it’s time for a second post about gals. What’s important for now is to place a PSS context in place for Christian adolescent gals’ sexual development given what is enunciated as a clear understanding of healthy development for the guys, masturbation and physical desire for gals’ bodies being understood as important aspects of male sexuality which are developed during adolescence. It is relevant to note here that there is no empirical evidence that shows masturbation being especially relevant to sexual development in the wider world as a whole. However in this ministry we believe it is highly relevant for adolescents operating under the usual constraints of Christian sexual morality, i.e. virginity, abstinence, celibacy etc. We certainly hope to see Christian focused studies in years to come focusing on these parameters. Another relevant learning is that female sex drive can at times be equally as strong as males in committed relationships. This is clearly a positive affirmation of the gains that women in society have made in relation to the emergence of their sexuality as a whole in society and has positive flow on effects in marriages as more sex will end up being the net result.
The real question to be answered by this post is what actually makes up sexual development for adolescent Christian gals. Female sexuality is rather more complex than for males, a natural consequence of biological facts related to anatomical and functional differences and the difference in motherhood and fatherhood roles in society, but also because women become aroused by a variety of different means, only some of which may resemble the primary male arousal route e.g. visual stimulation. However, the key goal for sexual development for both Christian males and females has to be considered as adult marriage and family establishment, thus the focus we enunciated for males in recent posts is essentially that a Christian guy through adolescence is encouraged to attain healthy development of his physical desire for gals’ bodies but in a way that does not objectify them. Objectification is the outcome that is most influenced and achieved by sexual addiction, particularly with pornography, and is most definitely proscribed for any Christian adolescents or adults as it works directly against the development of healthy marriages and families. In consequence therefore the outlined means to achieve healthy PSS development for adolescent Christian males are aimed at allowing them a carefully managed opportunity to develop a healthy sexuality in relation to females by the use of masturbation within strict limits designed to prevent the development of sexual addiction or other forms of sexual sin.
Following on from our understanding of the important tenets of adolescent Christian male sexual development, it naturally follows that the sexual development for adolescent Christian females focuses on them being prepared for the PSS aspects in full of marriage including sexual intercourse, by having had similar opportunities with the managed use of masturbation in specific limited contexts. For female sexual desire in relation to husband and wife relationships, specific behaviours are encouraged by males in the area of, for example, knowledge and application of love languages. These are beyond the scope of this post but have been well documented elsewhere. Behavioural choices that gals themselves can initiate relate mainly to specific responses to physical desire which their husbands will express implicitly or explicitly within the marriage. In other words one of the key things an adolescent Christian gal can spend her time doing as an important part of PSS development is to focus on training herself to be ready to respond appropriately in a physical way in marriage. This is of course a key goal for both guys and gals in Christian contexts as marriage provides the best way for both in constructively consummating their sexual desires with the benefits that come from intimately relating to each other, although we haven’t said the same thing yet about guys. This is mainly because the focus for guys has been that the most important thing is to have control of their super strong sex drives. Gals on average have a lower sex drive which is less demanding to manage, although a small percentage of gals are super horny, which seem mainly to be those who have masturbated since their childhood. Gals also have the problem in that sex drive is influenced by social interaction with guys, a part of this being visual arousal like guys have, and another part being desired by guys. Since most guys have the strong visual arousal occurring around women, it is very difficult for single women in social situations to avoid being a target of desire, and in turn, getting horny from this as some will do. Hence the average Christian gal does need to use masturbation to help manage her sex drive due to factors such as this in her day to day life. Gals can control the amount of attention they get from guys by their clothing choices although this is still challenging for those who have well developed bodies, for example with larger breast and bum sizes.
A total picture of female sexual development recognises that it is understandably lifelong, as for all humans. An unknown percentage of gals have begun masturbation at preschool age level, generally considered to be harmless, with a variable range of frequencies, from low to very high as described on the sex drive scale articulated elsewhere on this blog. Those who are masturbating in childhood, we believe are more likely to go into adolescence at the high to very high frequency level and maintain it even in relationships. Other data indicates a lower level of sex drive and masturbation frequency is a more average outcome for women in general, which indicates either the percentage in the high/very high category is relatively limited, or a significant percentage of women are in the low frequency range. We don’t intend to suggest or imply there is anything negative or harmful happening where gals have masturbated in childhood and have a consequent higher sex drive in later phases of life. There are no right or wrong answers when it comes to sex drive, as with many of the variations in different aspects of female sexuality, or at what age masturbation is commenced. What we do believe is helpful for Christian gals in their adolescent sexual development in order to prepare themselves for future marriage is to use sex toys during masturbation, more of the passive type rather than the ones that vibrate. Such use gives the gal the experience she needs to be prepared physically, sexually and spiritually for penetrative sex, which is a big deal for most women. It’s a wonderful thing to have sex in a marriage, but we must never trivialise or gloss over the various aspects of intrusion into a woman’s body by penetration, or any part of sex that involves sharing her body with her husband. Of course, there are other forms of sex that don’t involve penetration or direct touch, such as masturbating together, and if a husband and wife are open to such alternatives, it might become possible for them to partake of sex more often in their marriage than would be acceptable if all sex was conventional penetration. It might even be acceptable for the wife to use a toy when she and her husband are masturbating together. But the main purpose of this post is to assert that use of toys by Christian women during their adolescent sexual development phase is very useful and not going to create any sort of issue in PSS contexts provided it follows our usual guidelines.