Physical engagement sexuality is at the time of writing this article quite a new area of knowledge for this website and therefore few articles on the topic have appeared to date. Physical engagement principles in Christian sexuality are mostly relevant to marriage although they may find some expression in courtship between single people, particularly those who are engaged and getting to know each other more. These principles refer specifically to understanding of the sexual relevance or sexuality of specific areas of human bodies. Physical sexuality and therefore these principles is very strong in male sexuality particularly, however it is necessary for both a husband and a wife to have understanding of physical engagement issues in order to be able to fully understand and connect with each other in sexual intimacy and for each to be able to give of their best to each other in these times.
Physical engagement sexuality can be thought of perhaps as a kind of sexual body image language, where it represents a summary of a person’s feelings about their specific body parts, such as their self-image of these body parts; how their perception of these body parts affects their ability to engage in sexual intimacy; and how they respond to physical engagement with these body parts from an intimate partner (spouse). These are already well known issues in sexual intimacy throughout history. Physical engagement is especially a challenge for females, who generally have a much greater concern overall with their appearance than males do. This isn’t to say that husbands should be less concerned with their appearance than wives, but more to the fact that females are much more likely than males to have difficulty in achieving sexual intimacy in a marriage because of physical engagement issues. This can be either because of their own or their husband’s physicality and therefore the commitment is required from both husband and wife in the marriage, to understand each other in relation to physical engagement. The goal of defining this principle and the related articles in the Physical Engagement category is to assist Christian husbands and wives to understand each other more in terms of how body image issues impact upon their abilities to enter and perpetuate times of intimate sexual engagement.
In terms of physical engagement, we have focused specifically on four defined areas of the body, which are breasts, bellies, bums and thighs. Articles have been written relating to belly sex already and will be filled out for the other areas over time. What is important for sexual development for singles, especially adolescents, is to develop their knowledge of self awareness of physical engagement for themselves and for marital situations through self exploration, in discovering how their bodies react or respond to touching or stimulation of different areas during times of masturbation. This enables them to be prepared for physically sharing their bodies in marriage and for knowing the best means of increasing physical arousal/desire during sexual intercourse. We believe that both males and females should experiment with sleeping naked where practical during their single / adolescent years and experimenting with different types and styles of clothing, especially of underwear, swimsuits and nightwear. For women, this also includes deciding whether or not to wear a bra as part of their underwear. Female Christians are also recommended to use a sex toy to further explore and understand their internal sexual organs. We believe only passive toys should be used by Christian women except in very specific situations, and do not recommend the use of any type of sex toy by Christian men. For any Christian single, touching or teasing their physical body is very healthy, and this is generally associated with the removal especially of close fitting clothing, wearing loose fitting clothing or clothing that covers less skin, so for example choosing to wear short sleeved tops and shorts in summer, particularly around the home, sleeping with minimal or no nightwear, or using minimal underwear under clothing, are examples of teasing actions that can increase sexual desire naturally and are healthy practices for Christians to follow as long as public decency is maintained in less private locations.
In terms of physical touching or stimulation during sexual intercourse, we do not have a rigid view that only the male should touch the female or vice versa. We believe both husband and wife can touch their own bodies as well as the other during sexual intercourse. Masturbation is permitted and encouraged during sexual intercourse, and may actually be necessary for the wife to undertake during penetration when certain positions are being used, or if she generally experiences difficulty in reaching orgasm during sexual intercourse overall. It is also more straightforward for the husband and wife to synchronise their orgasms if each is in control of their own level of sexual arousal at specific times. The important context for the use of physical stimulation or touching during sexual intercourse is the overall outcome that is being achieved, not which partner is actually carrying out a particular level of stimulation at a particular time. In other words the achievement or serving of the other party is the overall goal but does not limit individual activities as part of the whole.
Some churches or theologians teach that only certain sex positions should be used by Christians such as the missionary position. These are based on ideas of wives being fully submitted to and dominated by husbands, and have no relevance to the principles of Christian egalitarianism that we are committed to in this site. We do not have any specific views on sexual positions in this site and fully repudiate any beliefs that repress or denigrate female sexuality particularly.
Physical engagement sexuality is much more of an issue for younger women and at the early stage of a marital relationship. Women reaching middle age or otherwise attaining sexual maturity, such as after giving birth to children, generally have fewer issues, particularly as they grow older, with their physical appearance, and it is also common for women to tolerate long term weight gain with increasing age.
To see all articles on this topic, choose Physical Engagement Sexuality from the list of article categories that appears at the bottom of each page of this site.