This is the latest in a long running series of articles which are perhaps over-titled. Nevertheless we feel strongly to write it, particularly in relation to our work in youth ministry. We are passionate about the application of masturbation as something that is of material benefit to those who are just starting to develop adult sexuality, as adolescents are. They will typically discover masturbation and orgasm themselves at the onset of adolescence and should then be encouraged to practice it as a spiritual discipline for the development of their sexuality. Masturbation should be approached as a form of exercise, both of a physical and spiritual nature. The person practicing it makes the choices as to the schedule and frequency that are useful for them and God will meet them at that time and place, as they make themselves available to Him in the time of sexual devotion.
Masturbation is approached differently by males and females. We have not written very much to date about adolescents or males to the extent we have written about females. This post is targeted at both, however we expect masturbation to be a lot more important for adolescent males, who normally are found to need it at a greater frequency and certainty than females. We believe it is highly certain that over 90% of adolescent male Christians will need to masturbate at least daily, and probably a somewhat smaller percentage of females or lesser frequency. They should not be made to feel ashamed in any way of this. The important way to approach their sexual development is that high sex drive is normal and healthy for their age group and that masturbation is a gift that can be used to develop their sexuality and to manage and discipline that drive so that it doesn’t cause them to fall into sin. As noted above the schedule and frequency are personal choices that it is not the role of this ministry or any other to dictate and are purely to be determined by each person in direct communion with God. Intervention or oversight is only necessary if there is concern about addiction or other negative consequences.
We suggest encouraging each adolescent Christian to work out a daily schedule for masturbation that works for them and stick to it, because that is part of the discipline needed. Having that discipline of setting time aside is the same as the discipline needed in other parts of the Christian life, and is equally as important as the masturbation itself. This is at least in part because of the physical and spiritual benefits associated with masturbating at specific times of day, for example first thing in the morning helps to set a tone for the day, or last thing at night may obviate waking up aroused in the middle of the night. Other benefits of a schedule are to ensure they are masturbating often enough to match their sex drive and therefore make it easy to defer random horny thoughts or triggers with the knowledge that they might be able to next masturbate in a few hours. Masturbation should be thought of as a reward for the commitment of living a celibate life. We believe it helps to tick a lot of boxes for single Christians in terms of a Christian focused sexuality in reconciling their physical struggles with their bodies with what God says about them and expects of them. Masturbation is just one part of a package of measures that Christian adolescents should practice in a disciplined way in order to maintain commitments to celibacy, singleness and sexual purity that is entirely appropriate for the age group they are in, their commitment to follow and serve God, and the development of their sexuality (that is a particular feature of adolescent life) in ways that are constructive and uplifting to their long term future.
We expect that adolescent Christians are spending their days at school in a classroom surrounded with people of the opposite sex and as such have a lot of potential triggers to get them horny during the day. Some may be able to get home at lunch time to masturbate during the school day whilst others may have to wait until the end of the school day. We see no real issue where a guy or girl needs to masturbate several times in one day, but only in a private setting at home. What matters most is that they use each session as a time of sexual devotion, fixing their minds on heavenly things, devoting their bodies and every activity back to God, worshiping God and thanking Him for these gifts of pleasure. This addresses the most commonly raised issue for masturbation, which is that people have to have something to focus their mind on, and that porn is obviously an unhealthy focus. The most healthy focus is God, as in other kinds of devotional practice followed by Christians.