We guess this post is a bit of a wrap up on the whole purpose of masturbation series. This one is more targeted at women because it is written as a response to a current ministry focus, and in fact it would be fair to say that is how most of our articles get written. We get inspired with a concept or theme and then we create an article around it to help express our thoughts. This blog can be thought of as a journal of our evolving beliefs and ministry gifts in this area of Christian sexuality and is of great benefit for being able to express and therefore develop these. Apart from this particular trend, we’ve been reminded of late that our ministry does have application to unbelievers. It’s always been there but we’ve become more passionate about it lately, and that is because of a realisation that sexual exploitation is a bit too common out there for (mostly) women. This has some context to the rest of this post.
The key challenges about masturbation for women can be summed up in the following three areas:
- The traditional (conservative) view of female sexuality suggests that women are supposed to be chaste and pure and never have sexual thoughts or be aware of sexual things. Even when married, according to complementarian theology, the whole sum of a woman’s sexuality is supposedly focused around being subservient to her husband’s sexual desires and traditional female roles of childbearing and homemaking. Thus, women were strongly discouraged from masturbating; sex was not even supposed to be enjoyable for a woman.
- Female sexuality is more complex than male sexuality. Feminists don’t like that being said, but there is simply a whole lot more to the sexual function of the female body. It comes together in a big way at adolescence with sprouting of pubic hair, which is a big adjustment for girls with their mostly shorn bodies, commencing menstruation and growing breasts. The latter two in particular aren’t burdens that men have to deal with. And even in our modern society where females are encouraged to enter into any vocation they desire, childbearing is still a uniquely female capability.
- In a male dominated society, females still have to deal with unrelenting sexual pressure from males. Society has become ingrained in this, with sexism entrenched to the extent that women still have to take precautions in everyday life for their personal safety that men usually don’t. The sexual revolution is complicit in this: it helped to promote feminism and sexual liberation for women, who were progressively freed from the restrictions of a patriarchal society, but in relaxing those restrictions, it also encouraged the male idea that women would become more sexually available. As a result it’s hard to shake the notion that unwittingly, female sexual liberation has actually empowered traditional sexual misogyny rather than eliminated it. This is particularly evident in the rise and spread of pornography, a large component of which perpetuates the worst extremes of misogynistic attitudes. In essence there has been a male backlash in society against the rise of feminism and that’s also evident in the Church, with the increased prominence in recent times given to “purity” movements and other expressions of complementarianism that teach negative views about female sexuality.
So, women still have sexual struggles, and Christian women especially face the negative attitudes to masturbation from within most of the church. In writing this article we are encouraging Christian women to focus on masturbation as a means of helping them to deal with the challenges posed by their own sexuality and attitudes to it in society and in the church.
Firstly, a woman’s body is designed for her to experience what is common to humanity, both male and female, in terms of sexual arousal and pleasure. She has areas of her body that respond well to touch in terms of causing her to become horny, or aroused, and masturbation, as it is for males, is capable of enabling her to reach a sexual climax (orgasm) by touching herself, without having to involve anyone else. We’ve been forthright elsewhere in this blog about our beliefs that masturbation is actually useful for godly men and women in certain contexts. There is no inherent reason to discount or denigrate female expressions and experiences of sexual pleasure. Women probably have more erogenous zones in their body and therefore possibly more responsiveness to touch over all their body than men, which gives us a thought that perhaps the female sex drive, or arousal, is more driven by a greater sensitivity to touch than the male sex drive, which is more driven by seminal production. These are just some random ideas we’ve had and at this stage we aren’t intending to dive into or research them further.
Secondly, with the complexities for a woman in just being a woman, with the struggles at times with aspects of her physical sexuality, we feel that women, probably more than men, need an opportunity to “let off steam” in a time of personal reflection. A time in which to re-affirm their sexuality, of which the most enjoyable aspect is the physical pleasure of touching and masturbating. This is a part of what we refer to elsewhere as “sexual devotion” because their sexuality can be reflected in a time of worship and spiritual intimacy with God.
Thirdly we endorse masturbation as a form of sexual release for a woman that doesn’t require assistance from a man. It’s a great way of standing firm against male pressure because there is no need to acknowledge the sexual relationship aspect. We also believe strongly that masturbation is a great way for a woman to affirm her sexuality, including her physical body, and that this helps women to be more confident in their sexuality and sexual identity in society.
These factors are of equal importance for all women, apart from the sections referring specifically to Christian beliefs. However, we have particularly written this article to encourage godly women to get on board with masturbation, in appropriating its various advantages and benefits that enable them to live sexually chaste and pure lives, especially during single periods of life. We are passionate about our belief that masturbation should cease to be an embarrassment for any Christian to bring up in everyday conversation whether male or female specific, and that it should be openly supported in sex education programmes in Christian schools.