We know that in general, male and female bodies are distinctly different. These differences are often cited as evidence of God’s creativity, in that he gave men and women different bodies that are just about more than our different sexual parts.
As a Christian woman, you’ll be aware that you tend to be softer around your butt cheeks, hips and thighs, and of course your breasts. You may struggle with this because these parts of your body are highly visible. On the other hand, if you are married, your husband may find the extra softness of these areas (apart from breasts, which are a default attraction for the vast majority of guys) to be very desirable and sexual, and you yourself can get a lot of pleasure out of allowing him to stroke, squeeze and fondle these areas of your body.
The most important thing you can do as a godly woman is to accept your body and that includes accepting you were created softer in these areas. The best way of fostering your own self acceptance of these areas is to have a private sexual devotion when you touch them yourself and enjoy that pleasure for yourself. It is also a great way of dealing with the vulnerable feelings you are bound to experience from the fact that these areas of your body are prominent attractions to males, and as we wrote on the vulnerability post a few days ago, of reasserting ownership of those body parts and everything about them, including the pleasure they create.
The flip side of being cuddly is to be cuddled. We feel we need to address this because we need to find ways to address sexual sin in the Church, specifically to sexually active single women. One of the great physical desires of sex for women is the cuddling part of it. This is very easy to understand, but it is also easy to understand that sexual sin is a big problem in the Church and it has to be addressed. The answer is essentially the same as the above. A single Christian woman can cuddle her own body and enjoy the pleasure in times of masturbation. Physical touch is something we all long for and crave, and it can be hard to get enough of it during singleness. As a godly woman, your body responds equally to touch whether that is performed by someone else or yourself, but the advantage of “DIY” touch is that you can provide it to yourself at any time, and that you can also do it a lot better because of the feedback loop from your hands to your brain.
There are lots of simple ways you can give yourself extra touching. You can choose to sleep in bed naked, for example. You can make sure you wash your more sensitive body parts extra well in the shower and then take some more time to finish off in your bedroom. Or you could take a long hot bath with some nice salts or oils to add another aspect. The important point is that giving yourself this touch can be a substitute for craving sexual touch from another person. It can never be a total substitute because it does not bring the intimacy with another person that is a key characteristic of sexual relationships. However, single Christians have to flee sexual intimacy (to paraphrase the Bible slightly) so we simply have to accept that for a single person, sexual intimacy is not possible to achieve in any shape or form and they just have to fill their lives in other ways. But we do firmly believe that as a single woman, you can substitute touching yourself for what you would have got from sharing your physical body sexually with another person and that giving this touch (cuddling) to yourself is an essential, very godly and healthy way of satisfying this need. We hope this understanding will help godly young woman who have given in to sexual pressures and have become lukewarm in their faith, living double standards of attending a church where sexual purity is preached, but not living out that in their own lives, will be enabled to be able to regain sexual purity in the future by substitute touch. So we do hope to see a very beneficial spiritual change in church youth ministries if these concepts become accepted in the future.