This particular post applies equally to men and women. Based on what we have already instructed in this blog, we believe sexuality ministry is governed by the “3 Ds” as we call them. That is, the ministry outcomes of sexuality ministry can be three things starting with D: sexual development, sexual devotion or sexual discipline. Since our key focus is self-ministry, in which a Christian man or woman can take some time out for a specific personal focus on their own ministry needs, we advocate that the 3 Ds are achieved by a godly believer in a masturbation session, regardless of their age or whether they are single or married. We’ll break down what each D means as follows.
- Sexual development is a focus on developing one’s sexuality. It is especially important for adolescents to have this one as their key focus from the time they begin puberty, as this will be key for them in setting themselves up for future marriage. Single adults also need to have this focus as they work on developing relationships that will lead to marriage, and a small percentage of these may have an extended period of singleness if for some reason their sexual development takes longer to occur. There are also those who remain single for life for various reasons, in which case the focus of sexual development is more targeted towards maintaining purity.
- Sexual devotion is a focus on devoting one’s sexuality to God. It is based on the adaption of the usual Christian call to personal devotion to apply specifically in the context of personal sexuality. During a session of sexual devotion the believer is enjoined to undertake the usual devotional practices such as prayer and worship. Devotion gives an answer to what should be an appropriate focus for a believer’s thoughts during a masturbation session, that is, a focus on what is upright and holy.
- Sexual discipline is a focus on disciplining some of the most demanding aspects of one’s sexuality. An example is sex drive, especially for males who as a group are much more in need of controlling their sexuality and keeping it directed to Godly purposes. Sexual discipline has huge rewards for those who practice it regularly, giving them a very effective defence against the temptations of lust and pornography. In a marriage it can enhance the relationship between husband and wife by taking pressure off either partner to be constantly available where the other partner has the higher sex drive in the marriage, or for example during or just after pregnancy where sex drives and availability are impacted in various ways.
We believe that the 3 Ds are especially relevant for maintaining sexual purity, and in the case of singles, innocence. These are of course very important qualities that greatly benefit not only our relationship with God, but with our husband or wife if we are married, or our future partner if single. Masturbation according to the 3 Ds does not diminish sexual purity or innocence in any way and in fact enhance them. However if sinful practice, such as the use of pornography, has been brought into masturbation at a previous time, it will not be possible to regain sexual purity until all issues relating to that practice have been resolved.