In the first article in the series covering childhood masturbation, an indepth look was taken at the whole issue and various aspects of it. In this second article, it’s time to look at the specifics that apply particularly to girls (female children). As with other aspects of feminine Christian sexuality, it appears there is a particular nuance that is more closely focused on spiritual aspects of sexuality that predominates for girls. A view was also expressed that childhood masturbation is more prevalent for boys. It appears this is mostly a traditional lead that males have had in all aspects of masturbation over time due to a well known historical double standard applied in the past to sexuality across society, and in the present era, females are catching up in all areas and it is becoming acknowledged that for example in marriage women may well have a higher sex drive than men in some instances. Physical sexuality for women permits a higher frequency of orgasm than for men. This is not going to be explored explicitly in this post but is mentioned to adjust the context of that particular comment made in the last post and suggest that in reality there is not always a big difference in gender-specific responses and that academic studies done into childhood masturbation have reached a variety of conclusions in regard to whether the incidence of childhood masturbation is greater for males or females.
The issue therefore to be considered specifically in this post is to whether a female specific sexual response is found in childhood masturbation for girls. The overarching background to this is the well known and observed greater spirituality that women in general have compared to men in the Church and probably other contexts also, but of course the key focus for this article and site is specifically Christian spirituality. As in the previous article, our first task is to acknowledge that the very fact that young children are able practically as soon as they are born to experience physical pleasure from masturbation and to reach orgasm are challenging issues for parents and others to deal with, simply because there is no practical application for masturbation in childhood. Nevertheless it is important that the issue is not swept under the carpet and that parents and other affected parties are equipped to deal with the issue in a way that both honours the Christian faith in general and sexual purity in particular for Christians. The important issue to be addressed is that children normally discover their physical sexuality at some point during their developmental years. With the change in society over time in attitudes both to sexuality as a whole and to feminine sexuality in particular (as far as this article goes), the age at which a child becomes aware of their physical sexuality is tending to become earlier over time. From a Christian perspective this discovery is not inherently harmful, but parents need to be able to make an age-appropriate level of response in setting some healthy boundaries for their children.
It is certainly well known that males and females have different levels of spirituality in their lives, that is to say, women are generally more spiritual than men. These reasons are at least in part related to different sexuality; a women has at her heart a greater level of spiritual tasks in life by way of her sexual characteristics, notably childbearing. In addition, both boys and girls, pre-adolescence, have a greater spiritual sensitivity in their lives naturally than they have once puberty is attained and sexual development becomes a new reality in their lives. This trend however is more pronounced for boys in particular, and one way of interpreting that change for boys is to suggest in adult male sexuality, a major spiritual focus for guys is achieved through sexual relationships. This is a concept we need to explore a bit more in the future, but conceptually it makes a lot of sense. In early childhood however, that focus doesn’t exist for boys as long as they maintain their sexual innocence, and the differences in male and female sexual spirituality are not as clear cut as they are from adolescence onwards. In past posts on this site we’ve focused on the concept of masturbation in adult female Christian sexuality in enabling a godly woman to maintain the affirmation of her own specific sexuality without it become subsumed into the role of serving her husband in the marriage. As noted just above, the husband will tend to focus his sense of spiritual fulfilment in the marriage being through sexual intimacy with his wife. This is not and can never be the sole source of sexual fulfilment for the husband as in particular it can never take the place of Jesus Christ (otherwise it is idolatrous), but it does appear to be an important component of adult male sexuality nevertheless. Wives, on the other hand, possibly are more capable of achieving spiritual fulfilment outside of the marital relationship, specifically directly with God in a way that is less prominent for males (but not completely absent). This is believed to result in the concept of sexual devotion through prayer being more important for women than for men, and for women to seek to achieve sexual fulfilment more from devotion rather than from physical intimacy. It is postulated that for Christian women, therefore, the role of masturbation in their lives is that it can be used to directly affirm both spiritual and physical intimacy, whereas for Christian men it is mainly relevant to physical intimacy. Christian women achieve this by setting aside specific times for sexual devotion between physical lovemaking sessions with their husbands, these devotional times aiming to “refresh” or “recuperate” their uniquely feminine sexuality which in sexual intercourse with their husband has to take on a temporary change of spiritual direction because of the key differences between male and female sexuality.
So if you’ve got through all that understanding and are still with us, the main thing we want to address in this post is the guidance that Christian parents can give to their female children in particular compared to what they might give to their male children. The aim here is not to get into the exact specifics of what is appropriate as we are not purporting to be experts in childhood sexuality or development and therefore to be able to expound authoritatively on age specific responses that match the understanding that children should receive about their sexuality in general. The key issue to be addressed here is the nature of that guidance having regard to the ideas about the different sexuality focus for women. In other words, whereby the need has arisen for guidance to be given at a younger age, that that guidance should seek to establish the important concepts that are distinct to female sexuality, specifically in an emphasis on the sexual devotional aspect of female sexual spirituality. In other words, a daughter who is starting to masturbate ar a young age and is already interested in faith, is probably capable of focusing on a devotional aspect of masturbation, whilst leaving out the other two Ds since they do not have relevance in childhood.
Our knowledge and understanding of this subject is still very new as it’s something that has only just begun to open up in the ministry. It will be some time before we are totally confident about all of what is outlined in this article as there is still a lot more study to be carried out in relation to this ministry aspect and therefore more writing to be done yet. So we feel this particular series of articles invokes a new level of understanding into Christian sexuality in general that has a lot of its own specifics which are different from adult sexuality and it is going to take a lot more learning, prayer and reflection to be able to dig into this subject properly and come up with some more indepth answers to some of the questions raised so far. These two articles so far are really just scratching the surface for the moment and we expect to be digging more in depth into these matters in the future. Watch this space.